Pack of Five

“A pack of dogs, on the run?  Mutts, junkyards, pedigrees?  Crossing Pine at Magnolia?     Coming my way, get Lillie in?  Don’t need a dog n’ cat fight?  Where is Buffy?  Bring my dillywhacker, meet at street, no time to waste?  Call Lurleen?  A pack of five? On my way dear,” said Emma to Mary Lou.  “Calling Sam, our reliable dogcatcher.  He knows how to handle rabid dogs.  Catch net and whistle will subdue them all.  He’s a man of courage. We can count on Sam,” said by Mary Lou to Emma.

“Lurleen, this is Emma.  Dogs are on the loose.  Mad dogs and foaming at the mouth. Bring your artillery.”  “Hanging out my wash.  Will clothespins do?” said Lurleen. “Bring them.  Must hurry.  It’s a pack of five. Call Virginia!” said Emma in a hyper tone of voice.

“Virginia, this is Lurleen.  Vicious dogs heading your way.  Heard they are hungry.  Bring in ‘Pom Pom’ and her pork chop, too.  They can wait for lunch in pound.  Hurry.  Bring your broom.   We need to make a clean sweep.  Call Lolita.  No time to waste.  A pack of five,” said Lurleen.

“Lolita, need you right away.  Deranged dogs on the run.  I know Jim and Joyce are hiding in the closet.  Record ‘Hospital Lovers’ for later. They will still be there tomorrow. Grab your rake.  For heaven’s sake,” said hurriedly by Virginia, “And call Daberta.” “She’s watching ‘Hospital Lovers,’ too.  Never misses an episode,” said Lolita.  “Get her away from the tube.  Bring your mace, I mean your tape and lace.  We will round them up and tie them down.  Hurry!” said Virginia.

“We pick up today where we left off.  Jim eyes Joyce across the hall.   He nods his head to signal to Joyce his desire for her.  Joyce nods her head back to Jim.  ‘Hospital Lovers’ will continue in a moment.”  “Nurse Cratchet, please monitor patient in critical care.  We cannot leave him alone.  He needs to be nursed back to health.  A professional is needed.  Thank you,” said Joyce in a nervous and rushed voice.

Joyce, thinking to herself.  My lover awaits me.  My heart is pounding.  My, he looks so fine.  Jim can’t wait to get with me.  I know this is not appropriate behavior, but with Hospital Lovers, anything goes here.  

“Not a good time to call.  In the middle of things.  Rinsing greens.  Peas in the pot. Cornbread with peppers in the oven, spread with a coat of butter.  Banana pudding cooling in the fridge,” said Daberta and back to Lolita.  “Girl, I can’t miss ‘Hospital Lovers.’  Jim and Joyce just closed the hall door.  Just know it’s hot in there.  Oh, I am so hot, too.” “Killers on the run. This is urgent.  Mongrels hunting for prey.  A pack of five,” said Lolita. “Need to bring ‘Prissy.’  She knows how to charm the men.  Dabbing her with ‘Alure,’ from head to tail, as we speak,” said Daberta back to Lolita.  “Okay, bring her.  A distraction may lure to our defense.  Let’s get out of here!”     

All are meeting one street over, Carnivore Alley.  “Yes, this is risky, but we must do.  A pack of five.  All killers ready to prey.  Got your weapons, girls?  Broom, rake, mace, I mean lace, clothespins, and my dillywhacker.   Here, leather boots, coats, and pants. None of us can afford to go rabid crazy.  Must use caution, and listen to my commands. That way we will all know the plays.  A strong defense is what we need.  Ready to fight? Ready to strike?  A battle we will win,” said by Mary Lou in a commanding and spirited voice. “A pack of five.  Five of us to match their might.  Again, we will fight and we must strike,” said again by Mary Lou in a devious and shrewd snicker.

“I see them coming, over the hill.   A calvary of five.  Sprinting by ground and in air.  An aggressive assault, defeat their intent.  We must stand strong and fight to the end. Ready? Charge!” said Mary Lou with dillywhacker in hand.

“Yap,yap, yap, yap.  Growl.  Yap, yap, yap, yap.  Swat, swat, swat.  Snap, snap, snap.  Swat, snap, swat, swap, swat, snap.  “Where is Sam?” said Lurleen in a panic.  “Two at me.   Please help.  Oh, please help me.  The mace, the mace, the lace, the lace,” said Emma in a panic of fear. Swat, swat. “Take that, you little varmint,”said Virginia, as she swipes her broom.  “Let me at ’em. ” said Mary Lou with dillywhacker in hand.  Whack, whack, whack. Swat, swat, swat.  Swat, whack.  Snap, snap.  Swat, whack, swat, whack.  Snap, snap, snap. Yap, yap, yap.  “Oh, you want to fight?  How’s that whack?” said Mary Lou fighting the ferocious little mongrel.  “Take that, take that, you little killer.”  One last, swat.  One last whack.  “Now, get out of here.”  All cower away in defeat.

“Whew, what a fight,” said Emma gasping for air. “Me, too.  What a strike,” said Daberta. “Where were you?  Certainly not on the front line,”  said Lolita.  So, ‘Prissy’ fizzled out in fear?” said Mary Lou.  Virginia to all, with chin on broom.  “We really swept them away.          I really swept them away.”  “Says who?” said Lurleen irked at Virginia.  The heroine of the hour.  “We are all heroes.  We banded together and victory is our win,” said Mary Lou smiling with glee.

“I’m hungry. wings anyone?  The treats on me.  Dilly Dog?”said Daberta in an apologetic sound of voice.  “I’m in.  I’m in.  I’m in and I’m in,” said  Mary Lou, Emma, Lurleen, Lolita, and Virginia.  “Can ‘Prissy’ go, too?  She cheered you on.  On the side line, I was rooting for you,” said Daberta to all.  “Yeah, come on.  You did say the Dilly’s are on you?  Then, you’re in,” said Mary Lou.  The other’s all say.  “You’re in.”

“Did anyone see them?” said Mary Lou.  “I don’t recall, but they were small,” said Lurleen. “There’s the ‘Dilly Dog,’ up ahead.  All, in a fast pace, “here we are at the ‘Dilly Dog, Dilly Dog, Dilly Dog,”  all in unison.  “Familiar, I see,” laughingly said by Emma. “There’s the pack of five.  All killers, I see.  Ha, ha, ha,”  Lurleen exclaimed.  “There’s Sam, dog in hand and soda, the other,” said Lolita with a laugh and a smile.  “Now, ‘Prissy,’ mind your manners.  Mama’s got a dog for you,” said Daberta in a motherly way.

“Now, Sam, I knew we could count on you.  Reward this pack of five and you are forgiven,” said Mary Lou awaiting a reply.  “All of you, the pack of five, it’s on me.”  “I see you rewarded the pack of five.  A hot dog for each, I see,” said Lurleen with hands on hips and jokingly to Sam.  “All killers, I see,” said Virginia, bent over with a laugh. “Pack of five meet the pack of five,” said Sam with a gleam in his eyes and a smirk on his face.

“Muffin, Ginger, Pom Pom, Spice Girl, and Buffy.  Where have you been?  So, you’re the pack of five,” said Mary Lou.  “Muffin, bad girl,” said Emma.  “You have been naughty, Ginger.  Never again,” said Lurleen.  “I would have never thought, you in a pack of mongrels, Pom Pom.  Shame on you, shame on me.  Enjoy your dog.  No pork chop tonight,” said Virginia.  “This is just like you, Spice Girl.  You are grounded.  Oh yes, grounded.  No TV for you.  Not on my lap.  No ‘Hospital Lovers,'” said Lolita in a rebuking tone of voice.  “You know, Buffy, I warned you about this.  Back gate opened.  You’re in lock up for the rest of the day, after your hot dog,” said Mary Lou.  All laugh.

Daberta to all, “‘Hospital Lovers,’ thirty minutes away.  Ice cream on me.  Must hurry, out of the closet today.”

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